Category Archives: personal

personal life

2017 回顾

正经写博客越来越少了。在农历新年来临之前总结一下过去的这一年好了。

1月
去印度参加了朋友婚礼
生日那天喝的大醉

2月
正经投出去第一篇一作文章
偷偷溜去法国待了一周,和维生素去了巴塞罗纳,可惜没进去圣家堂,但吃到了非常美味的tapas

3月
无甚大事,因为工作原因加上长距离,和维生素感情产生波动,经常跑到janet那里哭

4月
连着参加了波士顿的aag,巴尔的摩的us-iale,以及圣地亚哥的abm研讨会
见到了留学之后就没见过的nana和欢,无比怀念版纳
和维生素去了Yosemite和joshua tree,两人开诚布公之后反而更坚定了再一起的决心

5月
文章接收,minor revision
waterloo参加resilience会议,见到development resilience的作者
一篇三作的文章投稿

6月
普渡参加gtap会议
月底回国
被以前的导师骚扰

7月
黑龙江调研,进展顺利
第二篇一作文章投稿
三作文章major revision
和维生素在西宁会和,一路向西,终于见到敦煌中的各色佛像

8月
继续在北京的实验室工作
三作文章接收
带维生素见了高中朋友们,换了一本新护照

9月
到伦敦在kings访学一个月,模型终于跑起来了。。。
去法国了两次,一次一周,一次周末,维生素来伦敦过了个周末,看了wicked
买了三个lv,一个prada,都不是给自己买的

10月
项目开年会,第二篇一作文章minor revision,之后一直忙报销的事情
和维生素正式决定申请加拿大pr,他考了法语和英语
体重达到颠覆,决定减肥

11月
算是在电话里订婚了吧
工作上没有大的进展,一直在输入问卷。。。
成功做到只social drink一个月

12月
提交了一篇二作的review文章,见到了resilience界的一个大牛
圣诞和新年假期和维生素跑了西边的四个国家公园,在vegas看了太阳马戏团的一场表演
最后一天在sedona的停车场把租的车给蹭了。。

1月
在sedona过新年,两个人懒到就在宾馆房间看书,也没出去跟人群倒数
从芝加哥连夜开车回lansing,11号在hall of justice的一间法庭领了个证,几位朋友专门从加拿大过来,好多同事也来了。头一天和后一天都大雪,难得领证那天天气温暖,穿单裙在外面也不冷。老板晚上也去露了个面。之后和大家去了芝加哥过周末,把维生素送到机场。

领证那天因为化妆的原因差点迟到,跑到法院才见到维生素。他一直亲我、说开心。一直都觉得我们俩结婚是business decision,没有预期他是这么真诚的开心,还纠正我说现在不是男朋友了,是丈夫了。可能和前男友在一起总是患得患失,不敢相信男生是可以作出结婚这种承诺的,不知道感情可以没有drama就这么顺利。

一开始并没有觉得结婚后有什么本质上的改变,因为现在还是异国,而且我们就简单领了个证,双方父母也都还不在。直到在芝加哥的最后一天早上,他醒了之后又亲我,说特别特别开心我们结婚了,我才意识到这个人是真的要和你一起过一辈子(至少当下他是认真的),就忽然开始哭了,特别希望能够赶紧一起搬到加拿大去,开始真实的婚姻生活,认认真真过日子。

2017年开局不利,我还记得生日的后一天打电话给维生素哭,说觉得自己三十岁了还一事无成。但是这一年算是越走越顺吧,不管是工作还是个人感情。2018年开局顺利,希望后面也一切顺利。

#metoo

The urge of talking about this has been itchy for at least a week. Finally, I decided to find a way to organize my thoughts and express the anger and anxiety in me, in a more rational mood.

 

This summer I was harassed by my former professor in graduate school.

 

When I was in Beijing I went to visit him. The last time we met was three years ago, and people need to show respect to professors/teachers in China, as a cultural tradition. He invited me to this dinner party that his phd student celebrating the graduation with fellows from his lab. The dinner went like any other Chinese official banquet, there is one person who has most of the power and sits in the center of the table while everyone else (12+ students) has to kiss his ass. I was never a fan of this kind of thing, but I also understand if I want to go back to china with a good job offer, it is obligate to attend.

 

Everything was fine until we switched venue to a karaoke bar after dinner. My former advisor was slightly drunk, in a pretty damn good mood, since this phd student landed a damn good job offer. Things started going down at the bar. At first I just feel he came too close. He sat next to me, skin to skin. Then he forced me to sing a love duet with him and staring at me and trying to hold my hand as an act for the duet. I didn’t finish the song and moved to sit to the other corner of the room because I already raised suspicion. What confirmed my suspicion is when he walked across the room and sat next to me, again, skin to skin. What made me feel worse is when he started to touch my back and waist, acting like he was too drunk to support himself of accidently touched my skin. The last straw is that he slided his hand from my knee down to my shin. I stood up and told the host, the phd student, that I need to leave because I’m still suffering from jetlag.

 

I was so angry that I was trembling on the taxi back to my hotel. I wasn’t sure if I was angrier at myself or at the professor, a married man, a teacher of mine, who did this to me. I am still not sure about the object of my rage even today. I called my good friend in Beijing and told him what just happened. I remember telling my friend in the phone that, (1) I told the prof I have a boyfriend, (2) I wasn’t dressed inappropriate, i was wearing a cardigan, and my dress goes down to my knees, (3) I didn’t flirt with him at all. (4) did he do this to me because he thought i am easy since my boyfriend is a foreigner?  You see, Immediately I started to check if it’s me did something wrong, which may misguide him that I am interested to sleep with him.

 

It is not a solo instance. Now look back at my time in that institute as his student, he was trying to flirt with me from time to time. The most obvious one is that he offered to take me to some resort hotel outside of Beijing during weekend, which I said no thank you. But he didn’t dare to touch me physically back then. However, I did see him as a model or admired him as a student, and I didn’t tell anyone I had a boyfriend back then. And I am more open minded than any other fellow students in the lab. So maybe, perhaps, he is not the only one to blame? That is why I had the checklist going when I was in the taxi?

 

Every detail is still crystal clear. Every time I look back at this harassment and my time there as a student, I blame myself for not standing up against him at the scene and giving him a slap on the face. There were at least eight other female students at dinner, who are much younger, naïve, and innocent than me. I want to ask them if this monster being harassing them as well, and I want to tell them it is ok to fight back. But how could I? First of all, I do not know them and they know little about me. I have graduated from the lab five years ago and they only heard my name. I don’t know if he ever harassed anyone else. Secondly, which is more important, I didn’t stand up against him myself. How can they expect me as a role model? Lastly, the most important reason, is that, I have no idea where I can report him to? I am only an alumni of the institute, there is no liability issue from the school on me anymore. Moreover, I’m pretty sure even a registered student may have no place to file a complaint. People in charge may just let them shut up, or worse, give them a hard time to graduate for speaking ill of the professor who is in power. Students who report these kinds of things often end up with a slutty reputation as well (particularly if i was the only victim and my boyfriend is foreigner). So no one really wants to disclose those monsters. I’m also worried about the consequences apparently. Do I have any evidence that he harassed me? Students there in the same bar may see nothing. Since he only touched me and it’s not something worse, like many other victims suffering from penetration, people may just say, oh shut up, stop pretending to be a victim here. It is also that once I speak up, there is no possible network for me in this institute, it’ll be a bridge well burned. All these fears, these worries, stopped me from doing anything further. After that night, he texted me a few times while my time in Beijing, inviting me to dinner in private. I turned them down, politely. That’s the keyword, politely. I’m still so afraid to even confront with him.

 

During the phone call in the taxi, my friend tried to calm me. He is a salesman in a company. He said, yeah, it is really common that women in the workplace are often taken advantage. He has several female colleagues who have to deal with customers at dinner table from time to time. And because they need to sell products, there’s no other way but accept and suffer in silence. It’s a rule of thumb. There are other stories I heard from friends who work in China this summer. It is also true in academia, female faculty members will be invited to resort venues for meetings to “balance the gender”, which usually it’s the male professors are in charge of the meetings, and female profs are just there as dancing/dinner partners. Basically, escort. I’m sure same stories lying around and are easy to find. This makes me sad, how pathetic is the working environment for Chinese women. They already suffer significant prejudice from maternity leave and household responsibilities, which is worsen because of the second children policy. Now they are still being treated like a sex tool even they are as capable as their male colleagues?

 

 

I didn’t speak out when the #metoo went viral on facebook and twitter, because my case is cultural specific. Because of my background, I guess I’ll never be able to just blame the professor who gave me these endless self-doubt, or ever collect the courage to confront him or warn his students. Even this essay I’ll only post it on my personal website instead of share it on facebook like I usually do. But I do want to have some answers or clear thoughts on my other rage, to one of my friends’ reaction to this.

 

There are not many people aware of this assault. People I told are all my close friends that I trust. They are all very supportive and warm, offering me lots of assurance. However, there is this one friend, after I told him, asked me, are you sure he touched you not because he is just too awkward to show his affection to you?—The arguments with him is actually a trigger for my anger and willingness to write down these words.

 

To his question, I said no, it is not him being awkward, it is because this is not appropriate for him to do so. First of all, he is married, secondly, he was my professor and is still at a more powerful position than me. Then my friend raised an assumption, which is, would you still feel uncomfortable or unacceptable if he is young, attractive, unmarried? I told him that I may very likely to grow affection to this person, but I still think it’s not acceptable for him doing this. Especially you need approval before you can touch anyone! But I feel very offended by his assumption, it makes me judge myself that I only rejected him or feel disgusted because my professor who touched me against my own will is married and not attractive.

 

Not long ago we had a second argument, when the Hollywood harassment thing is going viral. This time this friend initiated the discussion. He said he doesn’t understand why people only feel powerless, to him, the predators’ behaviors are weird, which is not a power dynamic. This made me jump off my chair. I know this friend means no harm and we often argue about things. However, once again, I am extremely angry at what he just wondered. This sounds like the harassment victims are in a power equal position with those predators, and it is their fault to feel powerless and not fight back at the scene. You see, this is exactly what I have been blaming myself for. So, this time, instead of arguing with him, I just tell him to shut up. I told him, being a friend means you need to be supportive if anyone is going through a sexual harassment, not being judgmental.

 

I know this friend, as a victim himself once, has no intention to criticize me or blame me for not standing up. I still feel extremely angry at his tone. But later when I am less furious, I started to think if his argument has some merits. Maybe we do need to feel less powerless but analyze the predators’ behaviors so that we can find a solution? However, I can’t seem to be able to convince myself. Emotionally, I kind of still suffering the fact that I didn’t do anything to stop him, and this is why I am angry at my friend’s tone, because it is true that I did feel powerless and it is the reason I didn’t stand up, for myself and for others. However, that monster professor is the person who started it, it is not my fault not to feel his behavior weird, but rather disgusting, offensive, assaulting, and destructing. It is the society’s fault that women are often victims to these types of situation. Why they did it? Because they are sick. Because society gives them power to assault women at no cost. Is it weird? Should we think their behaviors as weird? I don’t care. It is WRONG for them to do so. WRONG, not weird.

 

Anyway, I’m still angry at myself today. For both not standing up, and for not winning the argument with my friend. This essay definitely helps to clear my thoughts and makes me less upset. I wish in the future, I can find peace with myself, and, the worst case scenario, if this type of thing ever happened again, I will pull myself together and stand up against it.

学车杂感

(一)什么交通工具都不安全

航班会晚点会空难,高铁会出轨会追尾,那出行要自己开车吗?答案显然是否定的。

我学车的教练说:我现在出门都不开车,因为司机都是我教出来的我知道,都是一群水货。

(二)我们的成长轨迹基本一致

我在学车的学生族群里算是大龄了,有一个小我三级的妹妹A,还有一个小她三级的妹妹B。

我们三个女生都是五中毕业,妹妹A今年华科毕业要去上交读研,妹妹B跟我很近,WHU遥感院大一。

妹妹B的妈妈经常来驾校看她学车的情况;妹妹A的妈妈一方面嫌她买的衣服成熟,一方面又着急她没有男朋友。

我看着她俩就像看见过去的自己。

我猜测她们未来和我也并无二致。

我说我们就是一群面目模糊千篇一律的好学生。

(三)将来有了孩子一定只能用鼓励的方法

我老板就常常跟我讲说,你的人生就像给猴子摘苹果,一点点的提高苹果的高度,每次都摘到了,就自信心爆棚。

这次学车就是一个我暂时没法摘到的高度。

不仅风里来雨里去,每天晒得要死,还因为一直出错,从早到晚被教练用河南话念,比如,你怎么不往左打一点sai,打一点不就过去了;或者走了这么多遍还上不去,你怎么不看那个延长线sai。

我唯一一次早走了没有等到最后帮他收杆子,教练第二天就当着大家的面说,还受过高等教育的,不声不响就走了,也不晓得帮忙收拾一下。

以至于我现在每天早上起床的时候都得给自己做很久的心理建设,不就是学个车吗,没什么大不了的。可是去了驾校还是非常害怕摸方向盘,会主动往后躲,让别人先上。

所以我心想,将来有孩子,一定只鼓励,不骂。

(四)富二代也不全是混蛋

学车的里面还有两个大二的弟弟,其中一个一看就是富二代,戴欧米伽的手表。

但是人超级nice,不仅听教练骂不回嘴,而且会主动帮忙倒车、在太阳底下给你指方向。

还有一个弟弟,笑起来很像叮当猫,每晚都去汉江游泳。

他们俩都特别乖的叫我姐姐。

(五)抱怨也不能解决任何事情

从最初的经常发短信打电话哭诉被教练骂被太阳晒,到现在基本无动于衷。

因为短信电话只会浪费电话费,我的倒杆和九选六还是只会一样的烂。

Gmail真的越来越智能了

平心而论,我帮老板给他家里干得杂活要比小祁师兄少多了,但是遇到特别麻烦的也还是会忍不住咆哮一下,比如:

“帮老师整理在美国半年的跟他老婆孩子一起的各种吃饭和旅游的票据准备报销的时候再喜欢我老板也不禁想大骂一句老娘是你研究生不是你秘书!!”

而且我跟老板的绝大部分邮件都是论文的各种数据、会议安排之类。我的gmail邮箱里,至少有50%的邮件是老板发来的(有同学可以教教我怎么统计具体占百分之多少吗?)。又因为他没有写主题的习惯,这些邮件都是“无主题”以及拥有巨大的附件。

因此,常理思考,我的gmail是绝不可能会spam他的邮箱地址的。

但是Gmail的确Spam了一封我老板的邮件!而且是有主题有正文有附件的一封邮件!!

是一封帮他老婆下文献的邮件!!附件是两页的文献目录!!!

G妹啊,你到底是有多智能!!!我实在太爱你了!!!!

 

幸福生活就是很多快乐的小事

(一)减肥硕果一

所有的裤子都显著大了,于是交了论文盲审稿当天就去shopping。

在优衣库先拿了一条68的牛仔裤进试衣间,挺大,出来换了一条66的,挺合身但是还有富余,想了想没试更小号的。因为我是个裤子常年得穿165/170的人啊!

付完钱还是问了一下收银员:你家64的会比66小多少?

收银员惊讶说您没试吗?要不再去试一下吧。我特老实的说我觉得我应该穿不了64的了。不过伊一再坚持让我试试64的,于是我拿着付过钱的66和没付钱的64再一次进了试衣间。

啊哈哈哈哈,居然64的刚刚合身啊!!!

我多少年没有连续换小两个码的经验了啊!!!!

(二)减肥硕果二

周六继续shopping,这次是跟几个大学同学一起。

换了一件雪纺类的衬衫出来,从来当面说我胖的小罗同学惊讶的嘴巴都合不上了,目瞪口呆了十几秒,问你到底瘦了多少?!

我说那看你的反应应该买这件衣服吧。

他于是回答了一连串的“买买买”。

(三)减肥硕果三

去年买的一条正装西裤大得不像样子了,我问木清和鸡哥知道哪里可以改裤子的。

木清和鸡哥异口同声的说:我觉得你可以再等等。不用这么急。。。

这。。。

(四)老板不仅是老板,也是男人啊

交论文那天中午跟老板去附近的莜面馆吃饭,路上等红绿灯时,我在他身后一点。

一位女性从我们面前经过,老板的脑袋从右到左的一百八十度旋转;

又一位女性站到我们前面,老板的眼睛从上到下的好几遍扫射。

我在后面特使劲的憋着笑,简直要内伤。

其实我想说,老板,我不仅可以跟您讨论学术,也不介意跟您一起讨论一下伊们的美腿或者美胸来着。哈哈哈哈哈。

(五)我有这么多良师益友之本科老师

本科时候的三位老师对我特别情深意重:何老师、贺老师和梁老师。

报优秀毕业论文的时候,何老师不顾我自己的反对,坚持要把我的论文报优秀。他说论文是对四年学习工作的总结,虽然你这个选题不够理想,但是我们几位老师讨论了一下,还是要把你的报上去。

大三就调走了的贺老师,经常给我发短信和QQ留言,有一次还传了一张他当年批阅我课堂作业的扫描件过来,说,你是我最才华横溢的学生。

大四调走的梁老师,今年春节的时候给我发来短信:dy,祝你和你家人新年好!马上要毕业了吧?有什么新的打算?去年给你发了几次信息,老是发不出去,今天再试试。你会成功的,能力人品都很好。

我被感动得一塌糊涂。

作为学生,我有的不过是一点非大智慧的小聪明,却获得了这么多好老师的关爱。

真心感谢。

(六)我有这么多良师益友之老板

老板说,你不用担心论文盲审稿,先好好复习考博吧。

老板说,你博士考试准备好没,要不你把你准备的答案给我讲一讲。

老板说,你是不是收到很多拒信?博士考试也没把握?

没事,还有我呢。

你就安心在我这儿待着,不管是再申请一年,还是准备考博,都行。

(七)我有这么多良师益友之钟师兄

只见过一面的钟师兄在QQ上给我留言:

DY,我挺希望你过得好的。

因为很多人怀里本来都有块通灵宝玉,但很多人甘愿放弃。你能坚持,因为是女生,还能坚持得长久些。刚工作的时候你会怀疑自己的文青身份:我这么做是否值得?但稍后一点,你会发现,解决了温饱以后,文化的力量真的是生活中非常非常重要的一环,而你在大学的时候已经做到了。

钟师兄,我真的会认真考虑你的“工作两年”的建议的。

(八)我有这么多良师益友之闺蜜

畅说:我觉得大学对周围同学了解太少,就完全专情与你了;

畅啊,你三八妇女节的礼物,彻底把我们办公室师姐外地男友寄来的大包小包风头给盖住了,好歹给伊留点面子吧。

翠:豆你就自己解决来回机票,这边的事情就不用操心啦!

翠翠啊,我们又可以毕业旅行啦!上次去凤凰还印象深刻呢!

 

—————————————————————————

这么多关心我的老师朋友,我是有多幸福啊!!!!

 

转身之间,2010已经远去


新年第一天去北大讲堂看了江南小说《此间的少年》电影版,虽然都是学生演员,却还是被感动了一把。

尤其是这首由片中阿朱和康敏的扮演者演唱的片尾曲,我相信每个人心中都有一个“偏偏白衣少年”“转身之间消失不见”。不管是穆念慈,还是令狐冲。

小说里我最唏嘘是杨康和穆念慈的错过,希望拥有的,却是黄蓉和郭靖的圆满。

送给大家,和转身就不见了的2010年。

迎新杂文

一、滴水之恩,当涌泉相报

麦子是我大四时在饭否上认识的网友、校友和老乡,我念的五中,他读的四中。第一次见面是去VOX支持汶川还是我把我的Blackberry转给他,忘记了;然后我就到了北京,一直只能在QQ/Gtalk上联系,我偶尔给他打个电话,互相汇报一下近况。去中国美术馆的时候带了个蛮“高雅”的鼠标垫给他,换了春节和暑假的两顿饭。我和蒙师兄好的时候和分手的时候他都知道,他跟小妖精脱光的场景我也清楚,说是那天小妖精生日,几个人喝了一大瓶洋酒,借着酒劲就表白了。我还记得自己在QQ签名上特激动的祝福他们来着,不过我一直没机会见着小妖精,听他们聊张楚、聊婚礼歌手和房价。。

因为申请文书的事情我近来变得愈发小心翼翼的和人相处,想了好久才忐忑的问麦子:可以请你家小妖精帮我改改么?

麦子回:这么羞涩,不像你。你发这个邮箱,我跟她说了。

然后我就对着聊天窗口哭了,用了好多张纸巾都没止住。

第二天在邮箱里看到小妖精问我文书具体细节的邮件,没忍住又哭了。

二、我是个只知道索取的家伙

华夏是在Afec-X夏令营上认识的朋友,大我两岁,真正的高干子弟,自己又聪明,拿了全奖去NYU念生物学博士,最后的independent project他们组拿了第一名。穿板鞋配傣裙,很可爱。我很荣幸一直跟她做室友,从昆明到版纳再到昆明,整整一个月。她后来一直叫我老婆。

最后一天我们在昆明的青年旅馆,半夜我被蚊子咬醒,迷迷糊糊的叫华夏华夏,她二话不说爬起来,咚咚咚跑到前台要了电蚊香,回来点上。我就又迷迷糊糊的睡过去了。

上次她也是刷刷帮我把一封推荐信给改得漂漂亮亮。

而我还什么都没为她做过。

三、pain is inevitable; sufferring is optional

范头是我实习时的顶头上司,挺帅气的一个学长,河北人,家里的老大。半年来偶尔我们在gtalk上碰见会聊两句,直到之前一起去看了《让子弹飞》。当时我们看的夜场,看完正好他坐凌晨的火车回家,探望他生病的母亲。等开场聊天的时候,我才知道他前段时间有多郁闷,工作忙,周末却也不想出门见朋友,唯一的除工作外的人际交往就是和另外两个哥们喝酒。

我不知道能说什么,正好看到小范推荐的跑步书里的这句话:Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional,借来告诉他。

人生苦闷,但必须得学着不那么苦闷。

四、“你戴眼镜比不戴眼镜好看”

昨天跟班上一个男生一起去航天桥办护照,中午政府部门休息一个小时,我们只好在旁边的KFC等着下午重新开门。

我们是校友,大四保研的时候就认识了,一起从武汉来的所里面试。我们互相不欣赏,他嫌我生猛,我嫌他磨叽;只是在八十多个同学中,我们始终算是关系近的朋友。他女朋友我很喜欢,容貌漂亮,也写得一手好字,是我广播站的同事。我问他你出国了某某怎么办,他说也只能走一步看一步了。他俩之前分过一次手,不过又和好了。我希望他们这一步一步可以走得稳妥。

我正大口咬汉堡的时候他问我,圣诞那天晚上你戴的隐形吧,我说恩,他说你还是戴眼镜好看。

我说,哦,谢谢。

五、木清终于也脱光了

因为老师的项目认识了北航的一个男生,木清迅速的脱光了。周日见面的时候她说特别希望我见见那谁,因为很想听听我的意见,我说不要,等你们稳定一点再说吧。不过她还是经常举出各种细节问我你觉得他怎么样?

果真是当局者迷旁观者清啊,我姐们木清是多么雷厉风行的一个女孩,若不是深陷爱河,怎么会这么拿捏不定呢?

温鑫说木清,对你这么好,又难得聊得来,就不要太挑剔了。

我也这么觉得。我很少看到木清笑得嘴都合不拢。

2010年年初的时候星座就预测水瓶座今年会很顺当,果真年底的时候在木清身上应验了。

六、此间的少年

虽然我也是水瓶座,不过我还是希望2010快点过去,因为终于可以不用提心吊胆的过本命年了。

2011年1月1日中午,我们几个要去北大讲堂看《此间的少年》。

我其实不喜欢纠结的人生,而江南最擅长的就是纠结。但《此间》这部小说我总是能对号入座好多人和好多事。于是去看电影版就成了值得期待的一件新年礼物。

圣诞打麻将的时候我还跟同学们说,我正看的那部重口味美剧《Bones》,男女主角暧昧了6季都没有在一起。结果回来看S06E10,女主痛哭流涕的问男主我们能不能试试,可惜男主已经有了金发美艳又聪明善良的记者女朋友,于是女主哽咽着说我错过了。。

就跟《此间》里杨康发现穆念慈身边有了可以帮她解决麻烦的彭连虎一样,暧昧有个P用,时机都没了。

七、柴静体

本科的同学奶糖说觉得我很像柴静。于是我就模仿柴大记者写了这么篇记人记事小文。

今年怪不顺的,不过总算快完了。谨以此迎接新的一年吧。

爱恨交加的北京出租

通常来讲,我都是很喜欢北京的出租车司机师傅的,他们彬彬有礼,会在你上车的时候说你好,下车的时候主动提供小票并且吆喝一声“走好”。但偶尔还是会遇到让人很抓狂很不爽的师傅们。比如有一次路上堵车,我低头看手机里的小说,他居然教训我“现在的年轻人啊,你们离得了手机吗?我就不习惯你们这样天天盯着手机”等等。周日这次碰到的师傅更是让人很想骂“关你P事”。

我和偶像师姐还有小徐师兄打车从所里去食街吃火锅,路程很短,不过10块钱。偶像师姐是湖南郴州人,家乡话和粤语基本没什么区别,在车上正好接到家里人打来的电话,于是就在后座聊得很High。

师傅在前面用标准的京片子说话了,他先问坐在前排的小徐师兄:她说话你听得懂么?然后说:我听着太难受了,汉语拼音里都没法拼出来,bpm, zhichishi。为什么不讲普通话呢?

我们三个都没有理他,直到师傅飚出下面的这句话:

在有些场合不讲普通话是会受歧视的。

师姐先受不了了,说师傅不带这样人身攻击的啊。

师傅说我没人身攻击,全国都统一讲普通话了,大家都应该遵守。

我说师傅,人家跟家里人打电话呢,谁规定一定要讲普通话啊。

师姐来了句更牛B的:

要不是我们湖南的毛爷爷解放了全国把首都定在北京,指不定你们现在还受日本鬼子奴役呢。

师傅还不依不饶的继续灌输他的普通话至上论,说外地的家长啊,就不应该跟小孩讲方言,你说那从河南来北京的,跟小孩讲河南话,还邋里邋遢的blablabla。。。

我说师傅,方言是非物质文化遗产啊;师姐打断了我准备好的长篇大论,说:

各地语言跟各种行业一个道理;你要歧视方言,那不就是证明不同行业也有贵贱之分?

师傅居然没听出了师姐的弦外之音,继续叨唠。我真的觉得我的偶像师姐快要爆发了的时候,我说到了到了,你就在这里停吧。

这个例子其实挺有代表性的。我来北京两年多,到现在都不能理解老北京人和泛北方人的那种对北京的从语言到食物到生活习惯的“不顾一切”的拥护和热爱,以及对南方的一切的“盲目”打压。难怪我老板当初还跟我传授过经验,说嫁人一定不能嫁北京人,最好也不要嫁北方人(包括西北的)。我想好了,如果下回再遇到这种出租车司机,直接叫他们闭嘴或者立马停车。就像老板教育的那样,无法沟通也就根本不需要嫁了。

纯mark

本来计划下午写好一份文书,结果又被派出去送资料还顺带吃了半顿晚饭,九点到所里。然后就赶啊赶啊,用我幼稚的句式和“惨不忍睹”(阿帕玩笑语)的语法写完了personal achievements。

感谢阿帕,教授,囧叔(alphabetical)。我屡次用我的烂文麻烦你们,还死命的催。

不过写作本身也是一个对自己的回顾和展望。

然后除了认清了自己真正想干什么,我还发现自己还是挺棒的(成天赶deadline你还好意思这么说?!)。。。

他一直记得

他一直记得她撒娇的场景。

她坐在咖啡厅软软的沙发中,将脸的大半埋在手臂里,只露出两只大眼睛,可是也能看出带笑,对着吧台的位置软语叫着:老板……

似乎没有刻意的撒娇,可是语气中就是天然的一种娇憨。

这种孩子气在她身上常常出现,对咖啡厅的服务生、对食堂打饭的师傅,和对那个他。但从未对他。

他常常晃神,与别的女孩子吃饭时,她们也会叫老板,有的亦百啭千回。

但总不是她,他不自禁的在心中叹息。

那一幕他一直记得,永远。

菊子曰 今天你菊子曰了么?