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The urge of talking about this has been itchy for at least a week. Finally, I decided to find a way to organize my thoughts and express the anger and anxiety in me, in a more rational mood.


This summer I was harassed by my former professor in graduate school.


When I was in Beijing I went to visit him. The last time we met was three years ago, and people need to show respect to professors/teachers in China, as a cultural tradition. He invited me to this dinner party that his phd student celebrating the graduation with fellows from his lab. The dinner went like any other Chinese official banquet, there is one person who has most of the power and sits in the center of the table while everyone else (12+ students) has to kiss his ass. I was never a fan of this kind of thing, but I also understand if I want to go back to china with a good job offer, it is obligate to attend.


Everything was fine until we switched venue to a karaoke bar after dinner 백설공주 영화 다운로드. My former advisor was slightly drunk, in a pretty damn good mood, since this phd student landed a damn good job offer. Things started going down at the bar. At first I just feel he came too close. He sat next to me, skin to skin. Then he forced me to sing a love duet with him and staring at me and trying to hold my hand as an act for the duet. I didn’t finish the song and moved to sit to the other corner of the room because I already raised suspicion. What confirmed my suspicion is when he walked across the room and sat next to me, again, skin to skin. What made me feel worse is when he started to touch my back and waist, acting like he was too drunk to support himself of accidently touched my skin. The last straw is that he slided his hand from my knee down to my shin. I stood up and told the host, the phd student, that I need to leave because I’m still suffering from jetlag.


I was so angry that I was trembling on the taxi back to my hotel 1그램 플레이어 다운로드. I wasn’t sure if I was angrier at myself or at the professor, a married man, a teacher of mine, who did this to me. I am still not sure about the object of my rage even today. I called my good friend in Beijing and told him what just happened. I remember telling my friend in the phone that, (1) I told the prof I have a boyfriend, (2) I wasn’t dressed inappropriate, i was wearing a cardigan, and my dress goes down to my knees, (3) I didn’t flirt with him at all. (4) did he do this to me because he thought i am easy since my boyfriend is a foreigner?  You see, Immediately I started to check if it’s me did something wrong, which may misguide him that I am interested to sleep with him.


It is not a solo instance. Now look back at my time in that institute as his student, he was trying to flirt with me from time to time. The most obvious one is that he offered to take me to some resort hotel outside of Beijing during weekend, which I said no thank you. But he didn’t dare to touch me physically back then Download the second fight. However, I did see him as a model or admired him as a student, and I didn’t tell anyone I had a boyfriend back then. And I am more open minded than any other fellow students in the lab. So maybe, perhaps, he is not the only one to blame? That is why I had the checklist going when I was in the taxi?


Every detail is still crystal clear. Every time I look back at this harassment and my time there as a student, I blame myself for not standing up against him at the scene and giving him a slap on the face. There were at least eight other female students at dinner, who are much younger, naïve, and innocent than me. I want to ask them if this monster being harassing them as well, and I want to tell them it is ok to fight back. But how could I? First of all, I do not know them and they know little about me. I have graduated from the lab five years ago and they only heard my name 로타 사진집 다운로드. I don’t know if he ever harassed anyone else. Secondly, which is more important, I didn’t stand up against him myself. How can they expect me as a role model? Lastly, the most important reason, is that, I have no idea where I can report him to? I am only an alumni of the institute, there is no liability issue from the school on me anymore. Moreover, I’m pretty sure even a registered student may have no place to file a complaint. People in charge may just let them shut up, or worse, give them a hard time to graduate for speaking ill of the professor who is in power. Students who report these kinds of things often end up with a slutty reputation as well (particularly if i was the only victim and my boyfriend is foreigner). So no one really wants to disclose those monsters. I’m also worried about the consequences apparently. Do I have any evidence that he harassed me? Students there in the same bar may see nothing 소드마스터로 회귀. Since he only touched me and it’s not something worse, like many other victims suffering from penetration, people may just say, oh shut up, stop pretending to be a victim here. It is also that once I speak up, there is no possible network for me in this institute, it’ll be a bridge well burned. All these fears, these worries, stopped me from doing anything further. After that night, he texted me a few times while my time in Beijing, inviting me to dinner in private. I turned them down, politely. That’s the keyword, politely. I’m still so afraid to even confront with him.


During the phone call in the taxi, my friend tried to calm me. He is a salesman in a company. He said, yeah, it is really common that women in the workplace are often taken advantage. He has several female colleagues who have to deal with customers at dinner table from time to time 키즈노트 일괄. And because they need to sell products, there’s no other way but accept and suffer in silence. It’s a rule of thumb. There are other stories I heard from friends who work in China this summer. It is also true in academia, female faculty members will be invited to resort venues for meetings to “balance the gender”, which usually it’s the male professors are in charge of the meetings, and female profs are just there as dancing/dinner partners. Basically, escort. I’m sure same stories lying around and are easy to find. This makes me sad, how pathetic is the working environment for Chinese women. They already suffer significant prejudice from maternity leave and household responsibilities, which is worsen because of the second children policy. Now they are still being treated like a sex tool even they are as capable as their male colleagues?



I didn’t speak out when the #metoo went viral on facebook and twitter, because my case is cultural specific. Because of my background, I guess I’ll never be able to just blame the professor who gave me these endless self-doubt, or ever collect the courage to confront him or warn his students 삼성 원 폰트 ttf. Even this essay I’ll only post it on my personal website instead of share it on facebook like I usually do. But I do want to have some answers or clear thoughts on my other rage, to one of my friends’ reaction to this.


There are not many people aware of this assault. People I told are all my close friends that I trust. They are all very supportive and warm, offering me lots of assurance. However, there is this one friend, after I told him, asked me, are you sure he touched you not because he is just too awkward to show his affection to you?—The arguments with him is actually a trigger for my anger and willingness to write down these words.


To his question, I said no, it is not him being awkward, it is because this is not appropriate for him to do so. First of all, he is married, secondly, he was my professor and is still at a more powerful position than me. Then my friend raised an assumption, which is, would you still feel uncomfortable or unacceptable if he is young, attractive, unmarried? I told him that I may very likely to grow affection to this person, but I still think it’s not acceptable for him doing this Autocad 2018 free. Especially you need approval before you can touch anyone! But I feel very offended by his assumption, it makes me judge myself that I only rejected him or feel disgusted because my professor who touched me against my own will is married and not attractive.


Not long ago we had a second argument, when the Hollywood harassment thing is going viral. This time this friend initiated the discussion. He said he doesn’t understand why people only feel powerless, to him, the predators’ behaviors are weird, which is not a power dynamic. This made me jump off my chair. I know this friend means no harm and we often argue about things. However, once again, I am extremely angry at what he just wondered. This sounds like the harassment victims are in a power equal position with those predators, and it is their fault to feel powerless and not fight back at the scene. You see, this is exactly what I have been blaming myself for. So, this time, instead of arguing with him, I just tell him to shut up. I told him, being a friend means you need to be supportive if anyone is going through a sexual harassment, not being judgmental Download windows images.


I know this friend, as a victim himself once, has no intention to criticize me or blame me for not standing up. I still feel extremely angry at his tone. But later when I am less furious, I started to think if his argument has some merits. Maybe we do need to feel less powerless but analyze the predators’ behaviors so that we can find a solution? However, I can’t seem to be able to convince myself. Emotionally, I kind of still suffering the fact that I didn’t do anything to stop him, and this is why I am angry at my friend’s tone, because it is true that I did feel powerless and it is the reason I didn’t stand up, for myself and for others. However, that monster professor is the person who started it, it is not my fault not to feel his behavior weird, but rather disgusting, offensive, assaulting, and destructing. It is the society’s fault that women are often victims to these types of situation. Why they did it? Because they are sick. Because society gives them power to assault women at no cost Download our investment securities mug. Is it weird? Should we think their behaviors as weird? I don’t care. It is WRONG for them to do so. WRONG, not weird.


Anyway, I’m still angry at myself today. For both not standing up, and for not winning the argument with my friend. This essay definitely helps to clear my thoughts and makes me less upset. I wish in the future, I can find peace with myself, and, the worst case scenario, if this type of thing ever happened again, I will pull myself together and stand up against it.

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二月份的时候老板就说让我参加CAG,the annual meeting of Canadian association of Geographers。因为committee member 德哥刚来我们系任教,受命主持其中一个ABM的session。不然之前Ray告诫过我说在CAG上讲ABM底下的人都听不懂的,AAG还差不多(AAG有关ABM的section持续了两天)。老板当时问我做个poster怎么样,我考虑了一下,脑残的说,要不还是做个presentation吧。后来发现当时自告奋勇的我是有多“无知者无畏”和“不自量力”。





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bella在我家的时候正好过了她的一岁生日,由于是拉布拉多和德国牧羊犬的混血,加上还是个puppy,格外活泼好动,运动量巨大,用同学和我老板的话说是“that dog is crazy, full of energy”。早上傍晚半夜各遛一次,早上和半夜不少于半个小时,傍晚那次因为草坪上经常有很多狗狗,所以就放她玩至少一个小时。饶是如此,bella同学回家之后还是不安分,会叼着球跑到你面前让你丢球跟她玩。有时在草坪上跟别的狗狗追逐一两个小时,累到回家就整个趴在地上大喘气,我和室友以为可以轻松一下了,没一会儿她就又活蹦乱跳的往你身上扑了。

有段时间室友不在,我还要准备一周之后的报告,每天被程序折磨的痛苦不堪,还有一个人照顾她的重任。有一天晚上骑车回去,遛bella一个小时,做饭,11点左右又冒雨骑车往学校赶,继续调程序,到半夜两点再骑车回去。这边大农村跟北京不一样,天一黑,路上没人没车,只有松鼠和星光。后来骑那些个大上坡的时候也不知道脸上是雨水还是泪。第二天早上九点跟导师有会,遛完bella准备出门,傻姑同学不知道发什么疯,追着我跑出来,拉都拉不回去。多亏有邻居joel帮忙,才hold住她,关进了屋。因为这一闹,就特别急的骑车往学校赶,在ring road上拐弯时没减速整个人从车上摔了出去。坐在地上傻了30秒,爬不起来。有司机停下了问我“are you okay?”,除了回答”i’m alright, thanks”,还能说什么,您能帮我带狗吗,您能帮我写程序吗?爬起来继续往办公室骑,还不能哭,因为马上要开会。






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我问了好多朋友,说,我觉得我对bella的照顾,是责任多于爱,那种发自内心的爱。我会担心她是否吃好睡好开心了,但是是基于父母的义务,而不是主动自发的那种感情。如果她乖乖的,我会非常高兴;如果她不听话,我会很严厉的训斥她。那万一我以后对自己的小孩儿也是责任多于爱怎么办?要是他们表现的不好,我就不爱他们了怎么办?墨西哥大姐说,有时候责任和爱是连在一起的,你没法真正分开他们;况且你知道bella只在你们家待一个月,潜意识里知道不能放太多感情进去。巴基斯坦大姐说,哦,怀孕的时候荷尔蒙一分泌,你就明白所有的事情都不一样了。三哥也说,for sure you’ll love your own children ebook 다운로드.




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于是表演正式开始了,果真全部都是蒙语,虽然一句都听不懂,可还是觉得很有趣,跟着节奏晃一晃也很开心。只有中间的一首英文歌,我听懂了一句:you are the prettiest girl.除此之外,什么都没明白。。。问那位大叔,他也无奈的回答:他们太快了,我也没听懂。。。囧,大叔您到底是不是蒙古人啊!

中场休息的时候,几个人就开车走了,小范儿问他们听懂没,那几个年轻人摇头说没有。哈哈哈。下半场大叔终于给我们翻译了一个词:Hong So La, 他说是“对不起”的意思。于是我们整场演出就只记住了“Hong So La”,而且还是以一种凶悍的口吻念出来的“对不起”。。。。






















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Afec-X 2009–Chapter CAO Zijuan and WU Lan

Hi, guys. It seems Dodo had disappeared for quite a long time, but now she decides to restart writing again.

Well, first I want to tell you an intersting story Unholi Best. One day I received a e-mail from a totally stranger. His name was Tarbish and he found my blog of Navendu through Google, which “summarized very well Navendu’s character, and the place he has in other people’s heartDownload maps plus. Tarbish has never met Navendu, but they exchanged mails for identifying flowers at the webpage 반지의 제왕 다운로드. He said my blog help him find the various mode of Navendu, which made me very happy and decided to keep writing, describing all of you in Afec-X!

OK, this time it would be  WU Lan and CAO Zijuan, the “two girls” as Orr always called 윈도우 8.1 언어팩.

the long and beautiful hair of CAO Zijuan, photoed by MO Xiaoxue

WU Lan and CAO Zijuan are both from Peking University, one of the best universities in China Free download of word processors. They major in biology, especially on wildlife protecting. The characters of their major  make them running around, living in field for months, watching pandas mating, etc Shortbus. It’s an amazing major, which I always dream about, but claims both healthy physical and emotional conditions. The two girls are from South China, appearing beautiful, slim, tender, whose occupation you might consider as teachers or nurses Download the little world. Well, at least it’s my first impression about them. But as course going, I found them really powerful in the field. Really powerful women! Once we were in the rubber plantation, there are a lot climbing and downhill, I was after CAO Zijuan in the line, she climbed facilely through the way I would never try Download the Post Office postcode. WU Lan is amazing too, she gave us a lot of surprises, a fresh jackfruit as dessert for dinner,  picked by herself from the tree for example. WU Lan is good at photographing too, her camera has a large lens 쉘부르의 우산. I though she once snap a picture of mine, when I was seriously discussing the independent project with Chuck at the rubber plantation. WU Lan promised to post that pic to me, I guess she has forgotten this for a whole year and still forgetting it… Download Dragon Flight Bug apk.

pretty smile of WU Lan, photoed by MO Xiaoxue

The most amazing thing about two girls happened on the last day we spend at Xishuangbanna. After the crazy party we had, they and LIU Yongjie (Jerry) and another boy rode on two motorcycles, running to the pumelo forest in the midnight, climbing up to the pumelo trees, picking as many pumelos as filling a whole gunny bag! Then each room of ours had a fresh pumelo! We had a pumelo party!

After our course, WU Lan and her family went to Tibet from Kunming. I believe she must enjoy the field and take a lot of pictures!

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GDP可以通过三种方法计算得到:分别为生产 法、收入法和支出法。生产法是从生产的角度衡量所有常住单位在核算期内新创造的价值,是国民经济各行业在核算期内新创造的价值和固定资产的转移价值的总 和,也即国民经济各行业增加值的总和。用公式表示如下:

增加值 = 总产出中间消耗

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好吧,应该是第一、第二、第三  产业增加值,而不是第一产业、第二产业、第三产业  增加值。





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